Love and Loss
by undomiel8
Summary: When Cleon returns to Kel with some shocking news, will she choose love or her shield? Or will she find a way to have both...AFTER LADY KNIGHT! PLEASE R&R!
1. Midwinter Luck and More Ordeals

A/N: I finally finished 'Protector of the Small'! YAY! Ok, I WAS NOT happy with the whole break up of Cleon and Kel, so I'm re writing it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Cleon, Kel, Neal, Merric, Owen, Wyldon, Allana, and…oh you know Tamora Pierce's characters, so I'm not listing EVERY SINGLE ONE! Ha ha. But ya, I own nothing…just like for 'Lord of the Rings'…How depressing…

Chapter One: Midwinter Luck and More Ordeals

The war against Scanra had been won. With Blayce killed and the killing devices gone, Tortall had torn the Scanran armies to shreds. Kel, Neal, Merric, Owen, and the rest of the armies had returned to Corus for Midwinter. Owen was scared to death. The order of the Ordeal had been drawn. Owen was first.

The group sat in the library, their old haunt from their page years. Kel sighed. "Owen, calm down. It'll be fine!"

Owen sat chewing his finger nails to shreds. He had picked up the habit several days before. "No it won't…"

Neal smacked Owen upside the head. "Don't make yourself sick about it! We all lived, didn't we?" An evil grin was plastered on his lips. "Even Merric."

He and Merric wrestled on the floor when a cloaked figured appeared in the doorway. He must have gone straight into the library for he was covered in snow. He walked over and sat next to Kel. "My sunshine."

Kel's jaw dropped. "Cleon?" she gasped.

He pulled back his hood. By that time, the men were all staring at him. He smiled. "The very same."

Kel shook her head. "But…You were betrothed. You were on your way to your wedding…"

Cleon dropped his head. "She's dead."

The group made the sign against evil across their chest. Kel put a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Cleon…I'm so sorry."

Cleon looked up. "Kel, I've talked to my mother. She…she's given me permission to marry whomever I want."

The lady knight looked into his eyes. Then she looked around. Neal, Merric, and Owen had all left. She met his eyes again. "Cleon…"

He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. "I always have, and still, love you Kel." He pulled her into another kiss. Being in his arms again made her fall right back into love.

He pulled away. "Midwinter luck, Kel."

Owen was sitting in his room with Neal and Merric. 'What if it says I can't be a knight? What if it says I'm not good enough? What if I DIE!"

Neal threw a pillow at his friend. "I told you to stop making yourself sick over this! I'm wondering what Cleon and Kel are talking about…"

Merric smiled. "Who said they're talking?"

Neal and Owen threw pillows at him. "Merric! We KNOW that you've been spending time with us for nine years, but you don't have to- Hello Kel. Cleon."

Kel and Cleon had walked into the room and sat on the bed. "What did we miss?" Cleon asked.

Owen, Neal, and Merric laughed. Merric straightened up. "Oh, just telling Owen to stop fussing about the Ordeal."

Cleon rolled his eyes. Turning to Merric he asked, "So when do the tournaments start up here again?"

Merric sighed. "Cleon, you've been a knight long enough! You know they start after Midwinter."

Kel elbowed Cleon. She knew exactly why he wanted to see the lists.

A knock came to the door. "Owen?" It was Lord Wyldon. "It's time."

Kel and Cleon sat in her room. Neal and Merric had wanted to 'read' some more. Cleon stroked her hair. He looked distant, but not sad. Kel looked up, "How did she die?"

Cleon sighed. "In the flood. She tried to save some of the horses. The flood pushed her over the cliffs."

Kel hugged him. "I'm sorry…"

Cleon kissed her. "My sunrise…"

Kel elbowed him. "Not so fast. I know you've talked your mother around, but still…"

Cleon eyed her. "You got rid of that pendant?"

Kel laughed. "No, but we need to see the lists first."

Cleon kissed her so warmly she almost forgot that they hadn't seen the lists. She smiled. The grey of dawn was coming. She sighed. "Let's go support Owen."

Several hours later, Owen emerged. He was pale and sweaty, but very much alive and in one piece. He smiled. Kel and Cleon gave him the thumbs up. Owen was knighted at nightfall.


	2. Raoul's Rage

Chapter 2: Raoul's Rage

Once again, Raoul was throwing his Midwinter parties. Kel, Neal, Merric, Cleon, Buri, and the entire of the King's Own were invited and they all showed up. Raoul and Buri sat on a bench near the fire. Neal and Merric were silently laughing. Those two had been the constant mockery of the court because of the fact that Raoul had been completely against getting himself married. But there they were.

Kel was sitting on the window ledge looking out the window. Owen was having his hand rigorously shaken by Lord Wyldon for surviving his Ordeal and becoming a knight. Kel was just starting to daydream about the tournaments to come when a hand rested on her shoulder. "Opal of my heart…" Kel looked up to see Cleon standing above her with a smile playing across his lips. Kel smiled back and stood up. She crossed the room and told Raoul and Buri goodnight.

Cleon and Kel left the crowded study and walked down the halls. Kel leaned her head against Cleon's shoulder and he sighed. "For once I want Midwinter to be over…"

Kel looked up. "Why's that?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

"So we can see if you're going to die a virgin or not." Cleon laughed. Kel elbowed him. "I should have seen that coming." They both laughed.

Kel turned. "Oh look! It's my old room!" Cleon leaned in to read the name on the slate. "Christiana of Riversedge…Looks like you've started something sunrise." Kel smiled. "Good!"

Cleon kissed her. The door creaked ajar and the two jumped apart. Kel sighed. "Come on. Let's go." They walked back down towards the party, but didn't turn into the study. Instead they went to Kel's room. Sitting down on the bed, Cleon sighed. Kel sat next to him. "What's wrong?"

He kissed her. "I'm not upset. I'm just relieved. That whole time I was riding home, I kept thinking that I was losing a girl I loved for one I barely know. And now I have you back." He smiled and Kel blushed. She leaned in. "I love you too."

They started kissing. An all too familiar scene from when they were on progress began when the tunics were discarded. It was then that Raoul opened the door. "KEL!"

The two jumped apart. Cleon and Kel stood up. Kel bowed her head. He was her commanding officer and she had to deal with that. "Yes sir?"

Raoul walked over and picked up the tunics. He glared at Cleon. "Get this on and get to you chambers. Kel-get yours on and come back here."

Cleon wanted to kiss her, but restrained himself so that Raoul wouldn't get much angrier. He muttered to Kel, "Goodnight fair love."

Kel smiled. "Goodnight." She picked up her tunic and put it back on. Returning to Raoul she said, "I'm sorry sir."

Raoul looked at her neck. "For one, you didn't even have your pendant on." Kel felt her neck. Sure enough the fine gold chain wasn't there. Raoul sat down on her desk chair. "Listen Kel. You need to be careful at the palace. You've got the king and queen as well as me, Buri, Allana now and then, and the training master. If you two had…" he trailed off. Then he sighed. "Just promise me that you'll keep that to the camps at tournaments. Or better yet, after you've married."

Kel gasped. "How did you know? We haven't even decided…"

Raoul smiled. "Cleon came to me. He asked me if I thought it would be ok for you two to marry since you're both in the Own…"

Kel could tell that bad news was coming. "What?"

He sighed. "I have to speak with the king."

The lady knight's eyes widened. The king was fair, but… "When?"

"After midwinter. Now, go to sleep. And I don't mean after a stop at Cleon's."

She smiled. "I'll behave. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."


	3. I Love You's and the Lists

Chapter 3-I Love You's and The Lists

Two nights after the encounter with Raoul in her room, Kel and Cleon had finally dared to kiss again. (After looking around corners for the knight of course.) He hadn't brought up the subject, but shot a look at them while they ate. Kel recognized that look. It was the same one he used on soldiers who looked as though they may question orders. But the sweethearts didn't care. They would see each other anyway.

The day after midwinter ended, Cleon slipped into Kel's room early in the morning. He set himself to setting out clothes and fixing a bath. By the time Kel woke up, everything was ready and the water was still hot. Sitting up, she met Cleon sitting on her bed. Rubbing her eyes she said, "What are you doing here?"

Cleon kissed her and said, "I came to see you. Oh. And give you a surprise."

Kel smiled. He was so sweet. She pulled herself out of bed and looked around. She saw the clothes and watched the steam waft lazily out of the bathroom. "You didn't have to do this.' She told him.

He smiled. "But I wanted to."

-

Later that day, Kel and Cleon went to check the lists. The first tournament was scheduled to start the next day. Cleon's eyes scanned the lists. "Well, it doesn't even look like you're on for…hello. Mithros save us, it's come back. Do you really want to die a virgin?"

Kel laughed. "Oh stop. I've survived Wyldon twice." She looked at him, but the look on his face told her it wasn't Wyldon. "Cleon? Who is it?"

Cleon swallowed. "Raoul."

-

Wyldon had told him she was ready. In his heart Raoul knew that Kel was an incredible jouster who would be some real competition. But he didn't want to hurt her. He shook his head. Kel would beat him for thinking she couldn't do it.

"Raoul! Are we going to dinner or not?" Buri yelled. Raoul jumped. "Coming!"

-

Cleon had forced Kel to go to sleep. She knew he was right, but the longer she had to stay awake without being able to talk to him as a distraction, the sicker she became. Finally she fell to sleep.

'_Charge!' she whispered to Peachblossom. The horse ran to its fastest speed as the assault on Raoul came closer. Suddenly, Kel was thrown from her mount and blacked out. She came to a second later to see her lance unbroken. A sharp pain ran through her lance arm. She turned her head to see a large piece of wood protruding from her shoulder. Cleon tried to run to her, but Raoul stopped him. He advanced on Kel. Looking at her with a look of deepest disappointment, he said, "I expected better from my squire." He walked away, shooting back glances that became fiery. Suddenly he became a great dragon, blood red in color. He turned back, flew to the point he was right above her. Suddenly she was engulfed in flame._

Kel woke up in a cold sweat. She looked around her. She had planned to be up before sunrise to practice with her glaive, but to her horror the sun was already up. "Mithros save me! I'm going to be late!"

-

Cleon was pleading with the herald. "Please. Give Lady Kel ten more minutes. I'm sure she just overslept. She'll be here. I know she will be."

"No. The joust was to begin at 10:00! She should know better!"

"Please. I beg you. Kel has never been late for a joust before. Couldn't you give her some leave…"

Kel ran up. "I'm here! Please! I'm here!"

The herald looked around. Lord Wyldon nodded. "Fine. Mount up."

Kel climbed on Peachblossom who had been saddled by Owen. Owen was always willing to help her. The flag was lowered. "Charge." She whispered to her horse. Peachblossom took off at full speed. Kel lowered her lance; her aim she hoped was true.

**CRACK!**

Both lances hit and shattered. Kel felt a sting in her shoulder. She looked down, afraid of what she'd see. She gasped at the large piece of wood stuck there. Raoul rode over. "She needs a healer!" he cried. Neal ran over. He glared at Raoul. Looking at Kel he said, "This may hurt a bit." He pulled out the overlarge splinter and quickly applied healing to it. "Better?"

"Much. Thank you." Kel replied. Raoul clapped her on the shoulder and rode back to his side. Once again the flag was lowered. "Charge."

Peachblossom again attacked with fury, but once again both riders remained on their horses. For the final time the flag was lowered. "Charge."

But this time, something was different. Kel couldn't place her finger on what it was, but she lost her focus at the wrong moment. Kel was thrown from Peachblossom and landed hard on her back. Raoul and Cleon rushed over. Cleon tried to hold her, but Raoul stopped him. "Are you alright?" Kel nodded, trying to sit up. Cleon pushed Raoul out of the way. "Are you _sure_ you're alright?" Kel smiled.

"I'm fine Cleon. I've had worse scrapes than that." She thought back to her fight with Blayce the previous year. "Much worse."

Cleon raised his eyebrows as if to say "When?", but Kel shook her head. Cleon helped her up. "You're not jousting any more today. Come on. You and I can go and spend the day in town. You got pretty beat up in there."

Kel nodded, afraid that if she opened her mouth again she'd vomit. Cleon helped her over to the palace to change.

-

That evening, the pair returned with their faces red from the cold. Cleon laughed. "That was so much fun."

Kel smiled. "Especially when you threw a snowball at Wyldon!"

Cleon blushed, and then laughed. "He'll never know it was me!" Cleon's face became serious. "Kel, you had me scared out of my wits today. One good hit from Raoul and I could have lost you…" Kel looked confused.

"Sorry?"

Cleon turned to face her and grasped her hands. "Kel, I know I said this in the library, but I mean it more than ever. I love you."

Kel's breath caught in her lungs. She looked Cleon in the eyes. "I love you too." Cleon pulled her in and kissed her. Neither one saw the shape in the shadows.

A/N: Cliffhanger! Aren't I evil? MOO HOO HA HA! I'm sorry to say that things may not be updated much now that school's almost over. Our school's being stupid with internet use (apparently it slows down the already slow and retarded system) and I can't get to the library much with guard starting tonight. (WOOT!) My summer's incredibly full, so please don't kill me if I don't update much between now and September. I will update as much as humanly possible. Thanks guys! New chapters coming ASAP! Now who could that shadow be?...oh, and my case of the plot bunnies is going to be kept to a minimum since I've really got to watch being on the internet in school now…Ok, now I'm rambling…Byes!


	4. Secrets in the Shadows

A/N: Oooo….Shadowman coming…WHHEE! Ok, here we go. Once agan.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 4: Secrets in the Shadows

Raoul walked to the library, his head swimming with thoughts. He was meeting King Jonathan to discuss Kel and Cleon. Would he let them marry? Raoul was so intent on his thinking he didn't hear Jonathan. "Raoul!"

Raoul jumped. "Sorry Jonathan. I was thinking."

Jonathan pulled out a chair. "Quite alright. So, did you find them?"

Raoul nodded as he sat down. "Yes…"

"And?"

Raoul looked as though he'd rather face another killing device than tell Jonathan the news. "They're…serious."

Jonathan looked down. Sighing he said, "You realize we'll lose two of our best knights if we try to separate them?" Raoul nodded. Jonathan thought for a moment. "Ok. Why don't we put them both under your command? That will give us time to think of a plan."

Raoul nodded. "Alright. But one question…you will let them marry wont you?"

Jonathan shook his head. "I don't know."

-

Late that night, Kel lay tossing and turning in her sleep. Another dream haunted what was a peaceful sleep.

_Kel was running through a forest. Where it was, she didn't know. She heard a scream. "Kel! Please! Help me!" Kel ran faster, recognizing Cleon's voice in an instant. "Cleon! Hold on! I'm coming!" She ran as fast as she could, wishing to the gods she would have brought Peachblossom. Cleon's screams became more frantic. "Kel! Please hurry! I'm trapped! It's going to-" His voice cut off. Kel heard a roar that made her tremble with fear. Adrenaline pulsing through her, a burst of speed pushed her to a clearing. Looking up, she stopped dead. A dragon, the same one from her last nightmare, had Cleon in a corner. Kel ran forward, but was not fast enough. In a burst of flame, Cleon was gone._

Kel woke up screaming.

A/N: Sorry for the rip off of a chapter. I promise the next one will be longer. I'm at a bit of a writers block at the moment now, so I decided to just finish the chapter here. The next one will be better, I promise! Um…YAY! I'll go start chapter 5 before Bix hurts me.


	5. I Wont Say Goodbye

Chapter 5: I Wont Say Goodbye

A month had passed since the tournament. Kel had competed three more times and won each one, putting Cleon at ease. Something was coming though that would turn their worlds upside down.

-

Kel and Cleon sat in the library pouring over books about the Immortals War and maps directing the victories in the Scanran wars. As Cleon was pointing something out on the map, Raoul ran in with a look of terror reserved for only the direst need. The two stood up. "Raoul, what's wrong?" Kel asked.

Raoul caught his breath. "We're riding out. You two are both under my command. We ride to Mindelan…" Kel's eyes grew wide as saucers. Before she could ask why, Raoul gave her the simplest answer he could. "There's a dragon."

-

The riders used all the speed they could. Riding with them was Daine. If anyone could convince a dragon to stop its rampage, it was Daine. Kel had trouble saddling her horse, but with Cleon's help Peachblossom was ready for a fight. As they drew closer, they heard screams. Kel's blood ran cold. The dream she had with the dragon…it was always either after someone she cared about, or it WAS someone she cared about. It now made sense.

As they drew nearer, Kel saw something that made her stop Peachblossom in his tracks. "Anders!" Kel jumped from Peachblossom and ran to her brother who was slumped against a wall, a trail of blood running down his cheek. A maid spotted her. "Lady Keladry! Get back! Your family is not here! Anders came to help!" But Kel didn't listen. She grabbed her brother, but Cleon came up behind her and pulled her into the safety of the doorway. Daine ran forward and tried to calm the dragon that was now roaring and shooting its flaming fury at her brother. Kel fought Cleon, but he held her tight. By the time Daine had stopped the dragon and it had flown to the top of a tower to wait for Daine, there was nothing left of Anders. Kel turned to look into Cleon's eyes. She dropped her head to his shoulders and cried bitterly.

-

The funeral was held in a small grove of trees in the forest near Mindelan. As Kel walked past the vase that held her brother, she kneeled and made the sign against evil. Looking at her brother's remains, she made the sign against evil. She shook her head. "I wont say goodbye." Standing up she added "I wont."

A/N: Sorry for the once again short chapter…I feel bad…These are short…ok! The next one WILL BE WORTH IT! I promise! scampers off to work on next chapter 


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